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“We started working with Bob after four years of futile attempts to settle an estate.  Bob was calm and understanding and took all appropriate legal steps in order to expedite the process. 

Bob’s ability to address both the legal and interpersonal issues involved in a negotiation was the perfect combination for an acceptable resolution of a protracted family dispute.”

Karen N.


Mediation is a structured, collaborative process where a neutral third party [a mediator] assists disputing parties in resolving conflict. Through the use of specialized communication and negotiation techniques, participants in mediation are encouraged to actively engage with and guide the process towards mutual resolution.


Mediation is…

  • A court-approved, cost-effective process for divorcing couples that promotes cooperation

  • A conversation that goes beyond the “winner-loser” outcome of a confrontational dispute

  • Enables people, with the guidance of an experienced, neutral mediator, to negotiate, compromise and problem-solve to achieve the closure they need to move on to their next chapter in life

  • A thoughtful way for a divorcing couple to achieve both their individual goals and best address the needs of the family,                  in the living room, NOT the courtroom


The  goal of mediation is to facilitate discussions and resolve disputes related to the issues divorcing couples typically face, such as:

  • Parenting time

  • Child Custody/Support

  • Alimony

  • Equitable distribution of property


Mediation had many advantages over traditional litigation:

  • It is usually less expensive and speedier.  

  • It actively encourages open communication and creative solutions.      

  • Mediation is non-adversarial, helps to mend relationships and provides both a mechanism for resolving future disputes. 

  • Mediation helps both parties feel heard- and this contributes to the better future each person is hoping to have because they are actively shaping that future through productive conversation and cooperative decision-making.



Robert. B. Mellman is a Professional Mediator as well as a licensed attorney in the state of New Jersey.  Having represented numerous spouses in divorce litigation, he knows that litigation is often unnecessarily difficult.  It can be contentious and expensive.  It can be damaging to families and hurtful to the involved parties.  People are often trying to rewrite the past instead of allowing themselves to imagine the future. Mediation allows you to plan for the new lives ahead of you, in which you will be on separate but steady paths, moving forward in a mutually beneficial way. With decades of experience in this field, Bob Mellman can help you create the best possible outcome for your family.


Attorneys do play a part in divorce mediation. A couple will discuss and solve problems together with their mediator.  As decisions on key issues are resolved, they are documented in a formal “Memorandum of Understanding” (MOU).  Couples are invited but never required, to consult attorneys during mediation.  Third-party attorney review of completed MOU’s is always recommended. Attorneys will assist their clients in the preparation and filing of documents and may also confer with their clients throughout the meditation process. Each case is individual and you, your mediator and attorney can figure out what level of involvement is appropriate in your family’s situation.

Even if your mediator is also a qualified attorney, he or she is not able to both mediate and represent a party in the divorce. In New York and New Jersey, an attorney may only represent one party in a divorce. An attorney representing a client would not also be able to be that couple’s mediator because it would create a conflict of interest. The mediator would no longer be considered a “neutral, third party representative”.

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